Enter the sphagia. Right before battle, Spartans dragged out a goat or ram, slit its throat, and watched the way blood spilled. Seers (the manteis) read entrails like some grotesque Tarot deck. If the blood gushed right, Apollo said “Charge!” If it dribbled, everyone just stood around, with idle hands, waiting for better omens. They’d literally delay fighting until a goat bled the “correct” way. Smh! It’s hilariously backwards to slit a goat’s throat for “wisdom” when the blood on the ground says more about human ignorance than the future ever could. If the gods wanted to drop hints, they wouldn’t need you rummaging through entrails like a clueless butcher. Again, for all intents and purposes, harming animals for ANY deity is as asinine as robbing Peter to pay Paul.
Same-Sex Mentorship, Lust, and Celebration in Sparta
Here’s where things get steamy. In Sparta, same-sex relationships weren’t just tolerated — they were part of the system. Older men mentored younger boys (erastes and eromenos), guiding them through the brutal agoge training. It wasn’t only physical, but spiritual and emotional. Spartans believed this fostered courage, loyalty, and discipline. Some accounts say these bonds doubled as lovers’ ties. And when they weren’t fighting? Spartans partied. Accounts describe post-battle orgies, drunken homoerotic romps that blurred the line between camaraderie and carnality. A victory celebration often looked less like a parade and more like a leather bar after last call.
But let’s be real: scholars still debate just how “sexual” Sparta was. Archaeology shows almost no erotic art in Spartan territory. Athens and Corinth, meanwhile, were drowning in porn vases. So maybe the Spartans were more buttoned-up than legend claims, keeping intimacy more ritualistic and less orgiastic. Or maybe they just didn’t paint their escapades. Either way, mentorship and same-sex bonds clearly fed into their war machine.
