🖤 When Beliefs Collide: Navigating Religious Differences in Marriage 🖤
From Agnostic to Satanist: My Journey, His Judgment, and the Path Forward
Marriage isn’t just about shared bills and matching towels. It's also about navigating the big, heavy, soul-level stuff—like faith. And when beliefs shift mid-marriage? It gets real—fast.
I entered my marriage somewhere between agnosticism and indifference. Religion wasn’t a core pillar for me—until it was. Over time, I found myself drawn toward Satanism. Not in the cartoonish, misunderstood way the media likes to sell it—but in the philosophical, empowering, LaVeyan way that embraces radical self-honesty, accountability, and human potential. It aligned with me. It felt like home.
But here’s the thing: my husband is a Christian. A practicing one. Kind of.
That shift in me—the agnostic to Satanist evolution—wasn't something he celebrated. I know it made him uncomfortable. Defensive. Sometimes downright mean. Arguments flared. I found myself asking, "Does he genuinely think I'm evil now? Does he even like me anymore?"
Yet here’s the kicker... A lot of what he says in his passionate speeches about life, love, strength, individuality, justice—it actually sounds more Satanic than Christian. Irony, much? Being married to a self-proclaimed “devout Christian” who actually just cherry-picks from scripture is its own special kind of spiritual mindfuck. On paper, he’s holy—he'll invoke God, quote a few verses, maybe even judge me with a righteous glare. But when it comes to actually living by the core tenets of Christianity—grace, humility, love thy neighbor, turn the other cheek—suddenly he's real quiet, or worse, hypocritical. It’s frustrating watching someone weaponize faith only when it benefits their ego or argument, while conveniently ignoring the parts that require self-reflection, sacrifice, or growth. Geez even the Jews are more open to compromise. Catholic/Christian followers have long held the unofficial title of intolerance thus making my husband "guilty by association".
What makes it harder is the inconsistency. One day he’s preaching about forgiveness and the next he’s holding grudges like a scoreboard. He’ll shame me for my beliefs in Satanism, while simultaneously promoting values that sound more Satanic than Christian—individualism, indulgence, pride in one’s power. It’s not just spiritual whiplash; it’s emotional gaslighting. If I acted with half the duality he does, I'd be the villain. But because he hides behind a Christian label, I’m expected to respect it. Sorry, but if your faith only shows up when it’s convenient—you’re not devout, you’re just performing, Yea, yea, I love you and all that but.... c'mon hubby. pick a side!
He’s inconsistent. One minute he’s quoting Bible verses. The next, he’s spouting beliefs straight out of The Satanic Bible. Half the time, I’m like, "Dude, you already think like us. You just don’t want to admit it." I swear, if he gave Satanism a genuine shot—a real, open-hearted try—he’d thrive. I truly believe that. He’d feel freer, more powerful, more in sync with who he already is. He even looks like Anton LaVey when he gets intense. It's giving dark priest energy, and I love it. Sometimes.

