Marriage: Sleeping Next to a Bible Thumper

A raw, personal look into a marriage tested by religious transformation—from agnostic to Satanic—while navigating the contradictions of a cherry-picking Christian spouse. Can love survive when faith divides? Explore one woman's bold spiritual shift, marital tension, and the truth behind faith-based hypocrisy.

RELIGIONREAL SATANISTSMARRIAGE

Lya Brk Ujv

7/26/20254 min read

🖤 When Beliefs Collide: Navigating Religious Differences in Marriage 🖤

From Agnostic to Satanist: My Journey, His Judgment, and the Path Forward

Marriage isn’t just about shared bills and matching towels. It's also about navigating the big, heavy, soul-level stuff—like faith. And when beliefs shift mid-marriage? It gets real—fast.

I entered my marriage somewhere between agnosticism and indifference. Religion wasn’t a core pillar for me—until it was. Over time, I found myself drawn toward Satanism. Not in the cartoonish, misunderstood way the media likes to sell it—but in the philosophical, empowering, LaVeyan way that embraces radical self-honesty, accountability, and human potential. It aligned with me. It felt like home.

But here’s the thing: my husband is a Christian. A practicing one. Kind of.

That shift in me—the agnostic to Satanist evolution—wasn't something he celebrated. I know it made him uncomfortable. Defensive. Sometimes downright mean. Arguments flared. I found myself asking, "Does he genuinely think I'm evil now? Does he even like me anymore?"

Yet here’s the kicker... A lot of what he says in his passionate speeches about life, love, strength, individuality, justice—it actually sounds more Satanic than Christian. Irony, much? Being married to a self-proclaimed “devout Christian” who actually just cherry-picks from scripture is its own special kind of spiritual mindfuck. On paper, he’s holy—he'll invoke God, quote a few verses, maybe even judge me with a righteous glare. But when it comes to actually living by the core tenets of Christianity—grace, humility, love thy neighbor, turn the other cheek—suddenly he's real quiet, or worse, hypocritical. It’s frustrating watching someone weaponize faith only when it benefits their ego or argument, while conveniently ignoring the parts that require self-reflection, sacrifice, or growth. Geez even the Jews are more open to compromise. Catholic/Christian followers have long held the unofficial title of intolerance thus making my husband "guilty by association".

What makes it harder is the inconsistency. One day he’s preaching about forgiveness and the next he’s holding grudges like a scoreboard. He’ll shame me for my beliefs in Satanism, while simultaneously promoting values that sound more Satanic than Christian—individualism, indulgence, pride in one’s power. It’s not just spiritual whiplash; it’s emotional gaslighting. If I acted with half the duality he does, I'd be the villain. But because he hides behind a Christian label, I’m expected to respect it. Sorry, but if your faith only shows up when it’s convenient—you’re not devout, you’re just performing, Yea, yea, I love you and all that but.... c'mon hubby. pick a side!

He’s inconsistent. One minute he’s quoting Bible verses. The next, he’s spouting beliefs straight out of The Satanic Bible. Half the time, I’m like, "Dude, you already think like us. You just don’t want to admit it." I swear, if he gave Satanism a genuine shot—a real, open-hearted try—he’d thrive. I truly believe that. He’d feel freer, more powerful, more in sync with who he already is. He even looks like Anton LaVey when he gets intense. It's giving dark priest energy, and I love it. Sometimes.

💔 Conflict of Faith: It’s Not Just About Religion

According to Marriage Builders, couples with different religious beliefs often face these classic roadblocks:

  • Feeling misunderstood or judged

  • Arguing over moral or spiritual values

  • Disagreeing about how to raise children (if any)

  • Passive-aggressiveness or avoidance on spiritual topics

The article doesn’t offer one-size-fits-all advice because frankly, there isn’t any. But it does emphasize one thing: unresolved spiritual conflict eats away at a marriage.

And Marriage Helper adds this nugget: “It’s not your job to change your spouse. But it is your job to understand them.” Ugh. Easier said than done, right?

But that insight helped me. Because what I realized is this:
I’m not trying to convert him. I’m just asking for respect. For open-mindedness. Maybe even curiosity. I’m not asking for blind allegiance—just shared exploration. Even if we land in different places, the journey itself would bring us closer. Plus, trying to garner the respect of a self-proclaimed Christian is already like trying to win a trophy at a rigged game—but now picture your husband being the main event, the final boss of Bible-thumping contradictions. It’s like arguing with a holy vending machine: you press all the right buttons, but all that drops out is half-baked scripture, twisted morals, and a smug sense of superiority wrapped in passive-aggression. You can’t reason with someone who thinks their spiritual flaws are just “tests from God” while your valid beliefs are “demonic.” Cracking that self-righteous shell he’s sealed himself in? Please. That shell is armor-plated with delusion and held together by cherry-picked verses he barely understands. And don’t even try calling it out—he’ll act like you’re the lost one, while he’s out here cosplaying as a man of God with the emotional maturity of a wet sermon pamphlet.

🌹So Where Does That Leave Us?

Truth? We’re still figuring it out. Some days, we laugh and bond over weird spiritual memes. Other days, we’re in a silent standoff. I still hold the belief that he’d love the Satanist path if he could unshackle himself from all that religious guilt and contradiction. But I also know that pushing harder won’t get him there.

So I’ve made a quiet pact with myself:

  • I won’t dim my beliefs to make him comfortable.

  • I will keep showing up as me: passionate, curious, empowered.

  • And I’ll hold space for him to meet me—if and when he’s ready.

In the meantime, I won’t stop hoping.
Because sometimes, the best way to preach is to live. And if he’s meant to follow?
He will.